


dan schneider got fired

by DontTellSothis



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Language, Minor Beck Oliver/Jade West, and i fuckin found this im screaming, cat valentine's brother (mentioned), daddy and mommy kink jokes, i wrote this back in october and i was lookin at my google docs, shitpost, the gang goes to panera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24535687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontTellSothis/pseuds/DontTellSothis
Summary: after victorious got to netflix i wanted to prove to my friend i had a mastery of the characters.  i ended up writing a shitpost.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	dan schneider got fired

[the gang r at panera or sumn]

robbie: aw man

tori: what's wrong?

robbie: [sits at the table]

beck: talk to daddy

robbie: you're not my father!

jade: i can be your father

cat: can u be my father

andre: which one of u guys has the buzzer

cat: oh!!! me!!!!

buzzer: bzzz

cat: hehe its ticklish!

tori: cat dont do that at the dinner table

beck: this is lunch

andre: let's just get the food [gets up]

cat: [gets up]

tori: so what's wrong robbie?

robbie: [sigh] well, this girl in my class, she made fun of rex

rex: uh, co-rex-ion, she made fun of U

robbie: NO SHE DID NOT!!!

jade: what did you do

robbie: rex told a girl her boobs looked so warm he wanted to stick his head in there like a sauna

rex: she looked MAD wet

everyone:

jade: so when are you killing him

robbie: JADE

beck: i mean,,, that's not very polite

robbie: it gets worse

tori: how?

robbie: [starts sobbing]

beck: oh no, wobby is sobby

rex: nice

jade: nice

andre: i dont know what's happenin but, nice

robbie: SHE CALLED ME A MENINIST

cat: [sets the food on the table] you know my brother's a meninist

cat:

cat: he said he wished he had a brother instead

rex: i wish i had a mother instead

rex: jade?

jade: im nobodys mommy

beck: what about me

jade: that's not what we discussed

beck: i thought you liked being called mommy

jade: NO, i want to be daddy

beck: but im the guy

jade: so?

beck: so then that'd make me the daddy?

jade: we dont have kids!

beck: what does that have to do with it?

jade: i can be whatever i want!

tori: i want to die

jade: then why don't you???

andre: have u guys tried this salad? it's damn fresh

robbie: hm... it is fresh

rex: id rather be eating pussy

robbie: REX

rex: what

robbie: .... if ur gonna say pussy, use it when talking about cats.

cat: me????

robbie: NO AH FUCK

rex: robbie wants to eat out cat

robbie: YOU said you wanted to--we're not talking about cat!!!

andre: who are we talking about

trina: [walks by] OH are we talking about someone? is it me???

tori: trina!!!

trina: what

jade: go away

trina: [bitterly smiles] hi beck

beck: uh, yeah, hi

tori: dont u have class?

trina: oh! i do, but im ditching.

tori: uh, why?

trina: oh no, there arent any seats left! looks like ive got no choice!!!

trina: [sits on becks lap]

jade: [pushes her off]

trina: OW!

jade: you can talk and stand at the same time

trina: can i now? i think i sprained my ankle…

robbie: in that case, then jade sprained ur ankle

jade: oh im sorry, then robbie, im sure u’d love to offer trina ur seat

robbie:

robbie: but im comfy

trina: [stands up] owwhhh..

tori: trina, so you’re here because…?

trina:

**Author's Note:**

> am i wrong


End file.
